Nobody is hungrier than a child who has been told it’s time for bed. 

Do I Co-sleep? No, my kid co-sleeps. I co-lay-awake and get kicked in the spleen. 

I love when the kids tell me they are bored, as if the lady standing in front of the sink of dirty dishes is where you go to get ideas on how to have a good time! 

Tired of yelling to get your kid’s attention? Try this: 

  • Use the bathroom
  • Make a phone call
  • Relax on the couch
  • Open a chocolate bar

I look so peaceful when my kids are sleeping. 

The hardest part of parenting is trying to fake being mad when your kid does something bad but hysterical. 

Currently helping my son search for his candy – that I ate last night. 

Raising kids is a walk in the park…. Jurassic Park 

Every time I say no, my kid hears ‘ask again, she didn’t understand the question.’ 

“It’s Spicy” – universal mom code for “I don’t want to share” 

My kid is turning out to be exactly like me. Well played, Karma. Well. Played. 

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